-I will always be your Baby-

Re-posting my blog 2 years ago about a dream I had of Papa in remembrance of him on Father's day. To me, he was the first man to show me love. I admit thou that his lost was the void of me that I kept hoping for someone to fill in. Now I realized no one can ever take his place. Only God can love me better than he did. And oh, add my mama too. :)

Happy Father's day Papang Ric! I will always miss you!

Your little princess 

Love2x :)

Read on:


I was the apple of his eyes… everywhere he'd go, he’d carry me along and show me off to everyone as if I were some precious stone or something.. “lawyer” is what he wanted to get for an answer whenever he’d ask me about what I want to be when I grow up and he’d repeatedly ask me this for everyone else to hear (hence the ardent desire).. I remember he’d bring me to Village (a restaurant with playground for kids) where I would cheerfully run back and forth making my way to the swing and sliding equipments.. I could almost see the serenity and happiness in his face as he watched me play.. he’d be holding my little hand as we walk along the boulevard peacefully observing the calm sea.. this to me was a perfect picture of how a dad should be – protective.. I was only 3 years old then but I can vividly recall to this time all those precious moments with papa… amazing? Perhaps because they were my fondest memories of childhood.. and up to these days, whenever his comrades and even his subjects would see me, they’d always agree that I was my papa’s girl.. why? That I would like to ask him if I had the chance..(i am the 3rd in the brood of 4 you know, why me??why not?) it’s been almost 22  years (now 25 as of this time of repost) since we lost him and I thought I was over the sobbing and grieving part – until this morning.. I woke up from a dream.. a dream I had wished for 22 long years to happen.. he visited me in my dream (on a Friday the 13th take note!).. it was almost real… he looked healthy and happy.. he was trying to show me documents enclosed in 2 folders which to my excitement I didn’t bother to even look at.. I was so happy to hug him and tell him how much I missed him all these years and I could almost feel like it’s so real.. after that short meeting I remember we drove off and I dropped him off somewhere then sadly he walked away and disappeared.. when I woke up, I felt a bit puzzled about the whole dream.. first, it’s been a long time since his death and now he seems so real in my dream; second, what could be his purpose for visiting me in my sleep.. one thing I realized is that - I wasn’t fully over his lost.. I am the same little girl who’d cry over her dreams during the first few months after her papa left her.. I am now 26 (now 28) and he still affects me this much.. after all, I will always be his favorite little girl.. “You will always have a special part in my heart papa.. “

Note: When I called up my elder sister to tell her about my dream (while I was crying hard), she readily asked me what numbers papa gave me. Incidentally, just before I woke up, I remembered 3 numbers came out from nowhere, and guess what, much to her dismay, i learned that those exact numbers were among the winning numbers in the lottery last night! Maybe papa just laughed and thought that's what she gets for not even asking how he was doing in my dream. Haha!


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