Dear Papa - a Love Letter to Heaven
|that look of Love|
This morning, I read a heart-felt open letter of a dad in reply to a letter he found attached to a sky lantern that landed on his driveway. Apparently, it was written by a girl addressed to her dad who maybe in Heaven now.
I could not help but feel every word that he wrote as if the letter was addressed to me.
So this prompted me to write my letter to my Papa who is now up there.
Dear Papang Ric,
How are you now?
It's been 28 years since you've been gone.
I can still remember how you would cuddle and hug me like you can't get enough of me. And yes, to this day, some people would still come up to me to say how you would carry me around boasting that I'd be your future lawyer. I did study law. And I am still contemplating on pursuing it. Don't worry I haven't forgotten that dream you planted in me.
Pa, I wrote to tell you 5 things:
You are my First Love. From my earliest recollection, I've known you as the first man to show me what love is from the way you held my hand while we walked along boulevard to the way you lovingly looked at me as I finished a glass of milk that you prepared for me. I learned how to love because of you.
You are never forgotten. Although I had only spent 4 years with you, 3 of which I can vividly recall, I do remember every bit and piece of memory we shared together. It was the best part of my childhood years. I still pray for you everyday, wishing to assure you that you will always be remembered. No one else can ever replace your space in my heart. I miss you everyday.
I promise to make you proud. As you have instilled in my young mind to dream big, I have always been determined to be the best woman I can be. You first believed in me and in my potentials even if I was not in any capacity yet to prove you anything at that time. You have taught me to excel in everything I do and to always give my best shot. Please know that every time I walked up the stage to receive a recognition, I always felt that twinge in my heart that I wish you were there to join me in my victory. I owe you and Mama all that I am now and all that I will be. And I dedicate my success to both of you.
Don't worry, I will take care of myself. I remember clearly the fury in your eyes when you caught sight of me fall from my Yaya's grip and you hurriedly picked me up from the floor. You were so mad at her for not taking good care of me. Then I knew how precious I was to you. I am sure that if you were alive today, you would be just as careful and protective to me as you were before or even more. I even wonder sometimes if any suitor can trespass your barricade knowing that you have all the power to guard me with all your subs at your command. I doubt if any man would be good enough for me per your scrutiny. I could imagine how hard it would be for you to give me away to another man. Even when my heart was broken, vision of you hugging me somehow eased the pain. If only you were here to shield me. But I have to be brave and strong. Don't worry your little girl is all grown up now. At 32, I know how to stand up from a fall on my own.
Thank you for being our father. I know you can see how much I mean these words as I write them here. Though things have not gone well for us all those times, I want you to know that if I were to live a second life and be given the chance to choose, I would still choose you and Mama to be my parents. I would like to honor you for being a good provider to us. You made sure that all our needs, even our wants were well-taken cared of. And I will always cherish all the wonderful memories I had with you.
I Love You Papa, so much! Hugs and Kisses to Heaven!
Till the day we meet again.
Your baby always and forever,
|the way he held me...|
Here's the link to the letter I referred to above.