The 36 QUESTIONS that lead to Love by NY Times

Quetal?! :)

That's "How are you?" in Chavacano, my hometown's dialect. I thought my greeting should start in "Q". Nice try.

I came across this article on the net about 36 questions posed by Dr. Arthur Aron in his study which were used by Mandy Len Catron in her own personal experiment. She wrote an essay about it in the NY Times entitled "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This". Dr. Aron's study sought to test whether self-disclosure can lead to intimacy between two people involved in the task. The aforementioned questions were designed to foster closeness.  

So I'll give this a try. See if by answering some of the questions, you, as my readers will feel somehow closer to me? Haha. Ok, I think that's not what the test intended.  

Anyway, let's do this.

The questions are grouped into 3 sets. I will pick 2 from each set to answer. 

Set I

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? Waking up to a Lovely Sunny Weather with the soft breeze coming through the window and the sound of the gentle waves enticing me to play with them. Then I walk outside towards the beach with the fine sand rubbing against the soles of my feet with just enough warmth touching my skin.  Ahh.. That is a perfect day for me.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?  Of all the blessings God has given me, I am most grateful for the gifts of wonderful people He's filled my life with because I feel His Love through each one of them everyday. 

Set II

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?  Finishing my Law Studies. I have always had that desire in me but I just couldn't find a way or time to pursue it. I have never totally given up on my father's dream for me. 

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? I'd say my family is not perfect. We've been through a lot together which made us closer and more thankful for having each other. I had my fair share of happy memories but most of all I feel blessed to have had the kind of childhood that no one or only a few of us can experience. Not all four-year-old kids can get through "that". How Cool is that?! :)


26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “ the rest of my life with. :)

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life. One time, I remember back in high school, my crush and I were both participants in a Math Regional Competition. We were sharing a bowl of noodles during breakfast. I was so conscious with him looking at me. Then just when I took a sip of the soup something came out my nose which made him laugh so hard. From then on, I stopped crushing on him. Haha. I was just too embarassed.

Geez... After doing this exercise, I feel I bared a little too much (?) about myself again like I have never gotten used to this. Trust me, bloggers though how much info we give out on our write-ups about ourselves, some of us kinda feel the need to keep our privacy to some extent. Funny eh?

So go try asking all the 36 questions to your date. These should help. Imagine yourself printing the list and pulling it out on the first date. I hope the other person wouldn't get terrified and run away. Haha.

And oh by the way, the last step to this exercise according to the experiment should be for you guys to look at each other's eyes for 4 F O U R minutes. That's the final test. Whew! Good luck on that! Hopefully it will work favorably :)

Credits to the owner


This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge
a blog hop that goes through the alphabet
for all the days of April except Sundays.
Today's feature is Q for QUESTIONS.



  1. Good topic for Q. Nice answers, too. My perfect day also involves being on the beach, with a good book. I've heard about this before but until now I still haven't gotten around to reading all 36 questions!

    1. Yes, what is it with the beach noh? Haha! Go keep the questions handy dee! Haha.

  2. Interesting questions. At one point my perfect day would have included a beach, but as I've gotten older I've come to love the forest even more than the beach. :)


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