The Pain and Joy in UNREQUITED Love

Friday, April 24, 2015




Borrowing from Wikipedia's definition,


"Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affections."

credits to my friend Dee 


Unrequited love defies the universal theory on the most basic human need, that is, the need to feel loved. In the normal scenario, love stimulates love. But often, love does not happen at the same time for 2 people. And because Love is a Grace, something that is not begged for or imposed upon, one waits indefinitely until the other person gets hit by Cupid's arrow. That is, IF, Cupid intends to direct the arrow to that person.


Falling into the Trap

"I don't know, Marissa... I've known this guy for almost a year now and everyday I spend with him, I can't help but fall a little too much. I just feel we have this special connection. I think he feels the same way too."

There you go, assumption as they say, is the mother of all screw ups. While the other person shows a hint of affection towards you, you cannot just jump into a conclusion that a proposal is on the way. Many a time, you fall helplessly for the other person because either the latter misleads you by his actions or you see that person as someone who fills a need that you have. If you're vulnerable you are likely to easily fall. 


Ouch! It Hurts 

"Carla! Alas! He says he only sees me as a friend!" She cries her heart out.

And once you fall, it will be hard to get out of it - that illusion. You will tend to linger a bit longer on the possibility that he may love you back if you wait. So you patiently and painfully wait for the time when he finally realizes that you are special and worth pursuing. Seriously, I think that only 50% of cases like this turn out to end favorably for the one who hopes. For every time you spend with this person, you grow more attracted to him, you get more attached to him, and all the more you feel that longing for him to return your affection. At the end of the day, you know that it is clearly one-sided. 


You are doing a Noble Job as a Martyr


Yes, settling for unrequited love is a noble thing. It is indeed a selfless undertaking. Though it is said that the act of loving gives one a sense of joy, there is not so many people out there who are willing to invest time and effort on just a mere "possibility" while going through all the pain of a one-sided affair. Human Nature tells us otherwise. So be thankful if someone loves you because of all the people out there, he chooses to love you, regardless of your feelings towards him.


Walking Away from the Wrong Love Story

Nevertheless, regardless of whatever reason you may have for holding onto that "possibility", eventually, your feelings will diminish. Depending on the depth of your affection for the other person, it may take time for it to fade away or just be left to oblivion. But trust me, the intensity will die out. Why? Because you will always look and long for someone who will love you back. You are worth more than what you are to that person. Well, the care and concern you have for him may stay with you but you will soon leave. You will then decide to dismiss what little hope that's left and walk away from the wrong love story. 


And because every cloud has a silver lining, at the end of it all, you will come to appreciate your huge capacity to love. In time, someone deserving will come along to return that love. :)


Credits to the owner, taken from Pinterest



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This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge
a blog hop that goes through the alphabet
for all the days of April except Sundays.
Today's feature is U for UNREQUITED.

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2 comments :

  1. Ouch! =.(

    This reminds me of that line from the movie The Holiday:

    "And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!"

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    Replies
    1. ayan! haha! just added this here! Thank you for reminding! Haha! It is indeed the "cruelest"!

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