WHY I Kissed Online Dating Goodbye


I once read from the book, "How to Find your One True Love" by Bo Sanchez that one cannot find love between the distance of her couch and the fridge. That one needs to take deliberate actions to meet people. True! You can't just sit on your couch all day, reading some romantic novels, day-dreaming, wishing for some fairy God-mother to turn your dog into a Prince Charming. Ergo, I resolved to undertake a proactive part in looking for the One so we may meet halfway.





Online dating was the least of my options. Though I live in a modern and liberated world, I still believe in traditional courtship and chivalry. Yes! I know you'd probably say, "well, no wonder you are still single!". I get that all the time. I admit I am quite conservative when it comes to dating. So venturing into "online" dating was like going beyond my comfort zone.





It wasn't too long ago when I finally considered taking a leap of faith. Insert face-palm here. I happened to read my friend's love story of how she and her husband met online. The guy turned out to be all that she ever prayed for and more. I was so inspired that I thought maybe, just maybe, I too will find my Mr. Right online. So I succumbed to the lure of Online Dating. Hence the paradigm shift. Haha. 


However, my venture in online dating did not last long. 

Here are the 7 Reasons Why:


(1) You're judged based solely on your face value

          
           I usually put a  tiny whole body photo with the purpose of highlighting my written profile more than my physical appearance. But I get a few messages requesting for a close-up shot. O.K. I understand that often, most people, myself included, tend to be visual. And why not? It's online. You meet people virtually so you might as well choose those who "appear" to be with good looks and/or pleasing personality. A friend of mine described her experience like leafing through a catalogue of some random faces with description under each photo. Hmm.. Who shall I go for? Funny. What about those who are not photogenic but with the most admirable personality? 



(2) The most ridiculous pick-up lines
   
     "Did you just come down from Heaven? Coz I think I just got my prayer answered." (I think his approach has something to do with my screen name. Haha.)

      Well, they weren't all that bad. Sometimes the pick-up lines are either cheesy or trying-hard. There are also those intro messages that are too obvious to have been sent to all, with some other girl's name on them. Please do not get me wrong here. I do appreciate the effort when someone reaches out and messages me. Just that sometimes, I can't help but laugh at the failed attempts.   


(3) 60% of the guys on there are only looking for you-know-what

      "Hi! Care for some fun tonight?" 

      LOL. That's from the first guy who messaged me when I just signed up. I was culture-shocked! What a nice welcome for me, huh?! I should have been forewarned. While there are decent guys out there, there are also a good number of those who use dating sites to pick up girls or try to appear nice to you with the intention of getting you to sleep with them. Que horror! 


(4) Text conversations can easily become boring and can't hold my interest

      I am someone who enjoys intellectual conversations but I appreciate it all the more if a guy can inject a good-natured humor in between. I know it can be difficult to find a common ground to even start a conversation. That's one thing. Another challenge is keeping the other person's interest. To be honest, there aren't that many with whom I chatted, really. And I had seldom initiated a conversation, twice maybe. That's it. I am quite selective. Maybe because I was looking for depth. And it's hard to gauge that from the texts or messages. 


(5) In an online environment, it takes less effort to put your best foot forward


      With the technology nowadays, you can just crop out Chris Hemsworth's body and match it with a face like Chris Evans. (Whoa! You'd be the guy! But yeah, I am no fool, honey! I know my Captain too well. LOL.) One can appear nice in his profile but who turns out to be the complete opposite in person. And you won't know that until the first meeting. It is just so easy for people to pretend to be the "Best" guy on the internet. And it is quite a challenge to sift through the profiles and find the real ones. Somehow, I felt too sincere and honest online. 





(6) It’s scary to meet up with them, because what if they turn out to be killers or rapists or complete psychos?


      Case in point, my Mom once had a chat mate from Nigeria and ended up being nearly victimized by a scammer. Yay! (Eepps.. Sorry Ma! I had to drag you here. I hope she doesn't read this!) Now this, no doubt, is one of the perils of online dating - meeting some psychos who take on fake identities. Hmm.. You just need to be extra careful you don't end up being kidnapped or something. 

 
(7) Perfect-on-paper men

       They got the most appealing smile on their photos with impressive profiles: successful in their career, passionate about something, financially stable (some would actually write this down), "seemingly" with pleasing personality, bankable bachelors - men who are too good to be true. Either they just know how to write convincing profiles that they cannot keep up with what's been written in person or they turn out to be NOT just the guy for you. He is that "almost" guy. Finally, you thought you found someone you're connected with. He made you believe in possibilities. Then one day, he just stopped communicating and left you hanging. Sadly, you can get your heart broken online too. How shallow, eh?! Of all places! So better guard your heart!


           



Other than the reasons enumerated above, I still think online dating is a good avenue for meeting people. Of course, the kind of people you end up meeting and knowing depends on the choices and actions you take. 



As for me, I am not totally closing my doors to it. I have known and met (virtually) a few sincere and decent people online. And I am grateful to those who have shared a bit of themselves to me. It isn't easy to put oneself out there, I tell you. Perhaps, I just haven't connected with the Right One there (yet) but it does not mean it won't work for you. It just didn't work for me. Not everyone has the same story. Go try it. It might open a different door for you. :)

By the way, I introduced 2 friends to online dating and now they are both happy with their partners. :)


P.S. The points above were put together by my awesome friend, Dee and myself. Go visit her post too! You'll love her views!




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This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge

a blog hop that goes through the alphabet

for all the days of April except Sundays.

Today's feature is W for WHY.

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Comments

  1. LOL at the heaven line. No need to put Chris Evans's head on anyone else, his body is already pretty amazing! LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omg! Haha! what if the real Chris Evans messages you noh? #asa

      Delete
  2. You have some great points here! New follower here. I'm stopping by from the "A to Z" challenge, and I look forward to visiting again!

    Sylvia
    www.writinginwonderland.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was going to ask if you and Dee collaborated on this. :) Great job! I'm glad I missed the online dating thing. I know some people who met online and it worked out, but I think the best online encounters happen when people are in the same groups or discussions (Facebook/IG/Twitter) and at some point take those conversations to text and phone calls. At least from what I've seen.

    ReplyDelete

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