6 Common Problems of Perpetually Single People

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

I guess some of you might have one of "those" days when you woke up to a cloudy morning, you checked on your FB timeline and exclaimed, "Damn! What year is it now?! How come all of my friends are getting married, and some are already breastfeeding their 3rd child?! And why am I still Single?!"

"Oh well, I was living an AWESOME Life, no less!" You quickly muttered as you pulled yourself back to the very reason why you CHOSE to be single all these years. 

And this is just one of those big world problems you come acrosss from time to time when you have been single for sooo long. Here, check if you can relate to any of these:

1. Trauma from the Past still haunts you to this day. And you blame your past for your present status! You think that everyone else is going to hurt you just like whoever hurt you in the past. Every other person looks like a jerk or a potential heartbreaker to you. Rather than be with someone who could break your heart in the end, and then leave you alone again to pick yourself up and put back the pieces, you decided you're better off being single and unattached. Well, you are not far from developing a paranoia of some sort. 

You better help yourself get over your past and not be held hostage by it. Truth is, every one can get hurt even without doing anything at all, so, might as well get hurt in doing something worthwhile, that is, in loving.

2. You want to shut everything else and get on with your life, ALONE! "Leave me alone!" These are the words wanting to be heard behind that poker face you project. It is a time when you feel like you've gotten so used to being single. And that everyone else who tries to get into your life threatens that balance that you have maintained all along. After all, you've really come a long way to restoring your self, or just even becoming a better person. You set a wall so high that no one could climb to take a chance at getting near you. Your bedroom or couch becomes your best friend in the world along with your most favorite series or sports game on TV. Not to forgot the bottle of beer and your fat cat on your side. Then, you ask why you are single all these years?! Please don't ask for the obvious answer! Get up there and Go out!

Be Open. Meet people. Take risks and chances. Who knows, the next big thing is just about to unfold in your life as you open a new door and put yourself out there. If you never try, you will NEVER know.

3. There seems to be no one good enough for you. Just because you have worked so hard to get yourself at the top of your game, you now tend to be really picky. Seriously and overly picky, even. You have intentionally set the bar higher. And as you age year after year, the more seemingly difficult it becomes for you to find the right partner. You just could not settle for anyone less or sell yourself short. 

While it is true that you have to discern for the right partner, do not forget to also prepare yourself to be that suitable partner to that person. Moreover, it is just right that you become aware of your worth so that you would know what you deserve. Then, you will be sure what to look for in a partner or in a relationship. But set reasonable and realistic expectations for a human being. :)

4. "Something must be wrong with me." After being single for years, you begin to doubt yourself and wonder if there was really something wrong with you. How come no one has seen something special in me all this time? Am I not worth pursuing? Why can't I get anyone to start or sustain a relationship with me? Do I naturally repel good potential partners? You must have heard all these small voices whispering in your head and you could end up feeling miserable all the more as you entertain these negative thoughts. 

Clear your mind and refocus on your assets and best traits. Truth be told, if a person is not meant for you, NOTHING can make him/her stay. You need not change for someone to like you back. Or if you have to change, you do it to better yourself. Embrace and celebrate your own kind of person, quirks and imperfections included. Give yourself only to that one person who will do the same with you. For now, smile and enjoy life and all its possibilities. 

5. Commitment Phobia. People having this could put up a front and say, "I am just too happy to care!". They are the ones who are just simply happy being single and free. They pursue what they love doing and get so hooked into creating the life they have always imagined for themselves. Sure, nothing is wrong with that. It is how every single person should think and live anyway. Just sometimes, one could be hiding under the guise of a happy single life because in reality, relationship just scares the hell out of him/her. If you're a commitment-phobe, you just want to meet and meet and never commit. You feel like you are NEVER going to be ready to commit to anyone, EVERRR. And you start pushing people away to avoid getting "trapped". You just want to be constantly and eternally on the "loose". 

Well, there may come a point in your life when you will get tired of playing your old silly games and you just wish for someone to sit next to you until you grow older.

6. "Where on Earth could that person be?!" And of course, there are those of us, majority, I suppose, who are still waiting patiently for the right person. Granting that you did all that you can do to open yourself and make yourself proactive to all possible avenues of meeting the right one, o.k., now, you could say you are doing just fine. Aside from the choices we made that brought us to where we are now, I mean, what else can we do but wait for the universe to conspire to make things happen. After all, the most beautiful things are always worth waiting for. For now, we just have to make the most of our time and pursue what leads to the best version of ourselves. 

And I say, "Good luck to whichever path you choose!" :)

8 Things that only BEST FRIENDS will understand

Monday, September 21, 2015

They say that in this Crazy world, you meet that one person who is just exactly your own kind of crazy!

Uhm, well, I suppose that for every other person, it may be difficult. But as for me, I am just lucky that I found my crazy half - my best friend. Her name is Melizza.

LOL. Wait. So, how to tell that you girls are best of friends? 

1. Even if you are opposites, you still click. Her choices are mostly plain and simple, mine are elaborate and sophisticated. She is scared of the water, I love to swim. But she'd jump into the water just to swim with me. She needs space after a fight, I want to settle things right away. 

2. You tell each other your darkest secrets. Harharhar! You are not scared of being judged because you know in the end you girls have each other's secrets for blackmail, in case things become out of hand. LOL. #infairnesstohim #showerstories

3. The other one covers up for you when you go MIA on a group chat. Except on instances when she'd join your other favorite girls in bullying you, all other times, she'd be the one covering your ass for you. Haha! She will answer with complete details for you. #bestfriendduties

4. You girls want to be the first one to greet each other on your birthdays. Your face is the first one she'd wake up to on FaceTime and vice versa. You both just want to be the first greeter of each other on FB and IG. And there is some sort of a competition as to who does a surprise better. Neither wants to be outdone by the other. 

5. A Big Fight is needed to make you both realize how much you miss being together. I recently had a fight with her. And this made me realize somehow, distance took a toll on us. But not much really. Nah. We just miss the random overnight sleep overs and dinners we used to do before. 

6. You go to each other to rant about your fight with your boyfriend or the annoying flight delay. And sometimes, rather than offer the positive side of things, you add fire instead to the wrath already burning inside her. Haha. And together, you throw all the negative sighs in the air. 

7. She is your SLAP-PER and you don't mind arguing with her. Because in the end you know that all she's doing, no matter how painful it could get, is done out of Love. She can tell you all the awful truths that you need to hear and you appreciate that in her because no one else might have the boldness to do so. 

8. You want to be the first one to know about every significant and insignificant development in each other's life. Well, of course, one has to get the approval of the other before agreeing to date WHO and WHEN to get to date this guy. A go signal is needed. You get jealous if she posts someone else on her IG account. It's like every other person threatens your position and the only legit people to be above you are her families and boyfriend who you approved of. But then in the end, you are assured that you hold this irreplaceable role in each other's life. Every little thing you tend to share to each other.  You pray for each other. 

Lastly and most importantly, you get a good feel that your friendship will last a lifetime.

These and many others are the crazy things you share with your best friend.

And today, I wish mine a very happy happy birthday. I Love You Pops!

I look forward to hugging you in 2016! Yaaakkk!!! 

My Thoughts on Finding Love

Sunday, September 6, 2015

"Test Mic. 1, 2. Test. This is Dr. Love signing on."


Well, well, it's been a while since I spent quite some time pondering about the most magical and amazing thing in the world called L.O.V.E. My favorite word that WAS. 

I admit that I had intentionally shut off all passages through which the longing for love can overrule me. By all means, I wanted to forget about all the pressures and the banters about my seemingly critical relationship status. In short, I have kept my heart activity status dormant.

So, should I feel bad about myself? Err.. not really. I ain't gonna throw some pity party. Nah. Let's face it, not everyone who is single and desires to find love needs to be in a relationship. Or lemme rephrase that - "is ready to be in a relationship". Don't get me wrong here. It's not like I play around or something. NO. That's not me. I figured I am not quite sure if I am ready to be committed to someone. I am scared to give away a part of myself  and end up being vulnerable again. It is as scary as hell! (Exag intended.)

Perhaps, it could be due to the trauma from the past (yay!) or just because I've learned to appreciate my worth over the years, and hence I now know what I deserve, at the very least.

Funny but recently I came to realize a few things on Finding Love:

  • You cannot rely on Love to fill in a deficit that you feel about yourself. The first and most important thing to do in finding love is to love yourself, enough to know what you deserve. You have to embrace your own kind of person, quirks included. Never change to fit into someone's preference or ideal of a partner. You need to feel secured and happy about yourself first. When you love yourself you'd know how to be a better lover to another person. (Thanks to my best friend, Melizza for this reminder! :D)

  • Only those who brave the odds and take chances find Love in the end. If I'd never go out of my comfort zone, I may never afford myself a chance at love. Love is a gamble. 

  • There is always that someone who will see you in a special way. I 'd like to believe that every woman has that secret desire of being pursued. Albeit I think that I am empowered and entitled to make things happen, but I still wish for a knight of chivalry to come my way, someone who knows about the code of courtly love. And yes, I was convinced that there is indeed that one man who will woo you. He may not be the person you expect to sweep you off your feet, but he will make you appreciate your worth all the more.

  • Everyone may hurt you. You just need to find someone who will be worth all the risks. Getting hurt is part of loving. It is inevitable. The perfect partner DOES NOT exist. Find someone who will cast out all your fears in love, not because he promises you of the absence of pain but because he will make your every leap for love worth-it.

And so I keep on walking through my journey to finding my LOVE... Soon, a new chapter unfolds... And I await. :)

Oh my Dear Carrie!!!

Saturday, September 5, 2015

I have been so blessed to have a number of dear friends who make my life more colorful and awesome!

But for today, just because it is her special day (:D), I'd like to honor a sister-friend who has been a great blessing to me.

So what is so special about Carrie? 

  • Classy and Elegant. A lady who can wear just any dress and she will still look classy and nice on it. Perhaps, it is something about her aura.
  • Kind-hearted. She's one person I know who has got a heart closest to that of Cinderella's (for lack of a better point of comparison. Haha!) She sees the world beyond her own self. She always has a soft spot for helping people. 
  • Friendly/Sincere. Having been with her on a few travels, I could conclude that she knows how to relate to people pretty well. I learned a lot from her! No doubt she has forged strong ties with her colleagues and a number of people who have come to love her dearly.
  • Positive/Encourager. Carrie is someone who always tries to maintain a posture of positivity, which I admire in her. Whenever I feel down, she is one of those who can lift me up and make me look at the bright side of things. Her words of encouragement breathe positivity in me. She is one of the few friends who can be blunt at me and I don't get offended. Haha! That's because I know she means well.  
  • A Woman of God. The first impression I had with Carrie was that she is a prayerful woman. I appreciate how we connect through prayers especially even when we are miles apart as she is one of my prayer warriors. Praying for others is her way of showing her love to the people she cares about. She inspires me with her faith journey. 
  • Down-to-earth and Humble. These days, you can rarely find ladies who are not so into selfies and Carrie is one of them. Shocking, right?! She's got a pretty face and yet she does not see that. Carrie has been successful in her career and in almost all her endeavors and yet she has kept herself grounded.
  • Adventurous/Passionate. One of the common traits that I share with Carrie is our zest for adventure. She is not afraid to try new things and even go out of her comfort zone just for the experience. When asked about her passion, "FOOD" is her outright answer. Carrie is someone who takes pleasure over her food. And she writes excellent detailed reviews about them.
  • Loves Deeply. Knowing Carrie, she is someone who loves with all that she is. Blessed is the man who wins her heart! I am sure that she will make an amazing partner! 
  • Thoughtful and Sweet. I find that she is one who really takes time to make her friend feel so special. She cares about every little thing that I share to her and she remembers the things that matter to me. Her languages of love are time, words of affirmation and gifts. She can be sweet and firm at the same time. 

And the list could go on and on. But I guess all these will not even sum up to who Carrie is to us all. Stay Beautiful as you are!

Happy Birthday, Carrrrrrr!!!