6 Common Problems of Perpetually Single People

I guess some of you might have one of "those" days when you woke up to a cloudy morning, you checked on your FB timeline and exclaimed, "Damn! What year is it now?! How come all of my friends are getting married, and some are already breastfeeding their 3rd child?! And why am I still Single?!"

"Oh well, I was living an AWESOME Life, no less!" You quickly muttered as you pulled yourself back to the very reason why you CHOSE to be single all these years. 

And this is just one of those big world problems you come acrosss from time to time when you have been single for sooo long. Here, check if you can relate to any of these:

1. Trauma from the Past still haunts you to this day. And you blame your past for your present status! You think that everyone else is going to hurt you just like whoever hurt you in the past. Every other person looks like a jerk or a potential heartbreaker to you. Rather than be with someone who could break your heart in the end, and then leave you alone again to pick yourself up and put back the pieces, you decided you're better off being single and unattached. Well, you are not far from developing a paranoia of some sort. 

You better help yourself get over your past and not be held hostage by it. Truth is, every one can get hurt even without doing anything at all, so, might as well get hurt in doing something worthwhile, that is, in loving.

2. You want to shut everything else and get on with your life, ALONE! "Leave me alone!" These are the words wanting to be heard behind that poker face you project. It is a time when you feel like you've gotten so used to being single. And that everyone else who tries to get into your life threatens that balance that you have maintained all along. After all, you've really come a long way to restoring your self, or just even becoming a better person. You set a wall so high that no one could climb to take a chance at getting near you. Your bedroom or couch becomes your best friend in the world along with your most favorite series or sports game on TV. Not to forgot the bottle of beer and your fat cat on your side. Then, you ask why you are single all these years?! Please don't ask for the obvious answer! Get up there and Go out!

Be Open. Meet people. Take risks and chances. Who knows, the next big thing is just about to unfold in your life as you open a new door and put yourself out there. If you never try, you will NEVER know.

3. There seems to be no one good enough for you. Just because you have worked so hard to get yourself at the top of your game, you now tend to be really picky. Seriously and overly picky, even. You have intentionally set the bar higher. And as you age year after year, the more seemingly difficult it becomes for you to find the right partner. You just could not settle for anyone less or sell yourself short. 

While it is true that you have to discern for the right partner, do not forget to also prepare yourself to be that suitable partner to that person. Moreover, it is just right that you become aware of your worth so that you would know what you deserve. Then, you will be sure what to look for in a partner or in a relationship. But set reasonable and realistic expectations for a human being. :)

4. "Something must be wrong with me." After being single for years, you begin to doubt yourself and wonder if there was really something wrong with you. How come no one has seen something special in me all this time? Am I not worth pursuing? Why can't I get anyone to start or sustain a relationship with me? Do I naturally repel good potential partners? You must have heard all these small voices whispering in your head and you could end up feeling miserable all the more as you entertain these negative thoughts. 

Clear your mind and refocus on your assets and best traits. Truth be told, if a person is not meant for you, NOTHING can make him/her stay. You need not change for someone to like you back. Or if you have to change, you do it to better yourself. Embrace and celebrate your own kind of person, quirks and imperfections included. Give yourself only to that one person who will do the same with you. For now, smile and enjoy life and all its possibilities. 

5. Commitment Phobia. People having this could put up a front and say, "I am just too happy to care!". They are the ones who are just simply happy being single and free. They pursue what they love doing and get so hooked into creating the life they have always imagined for themselves. Sure, nothing is wrong with that. It is how every single person should think and live anyway. Just sometimes, one could be hiding under the guise of a happy single life because in reality, relationship just scares the hell out of him/her. If you're a commitment-phobe, you just want to meet and meet and never commit. You feel like you are NEVER going to be ready to commit to anyone, EVERRR. And you start pushing people away to avoid getting "trapped". You just want to be constantly and eternally on the "loose". 

Well, there may come a point in your life when you will get tired of playing your old silly games and you just wish for someone to sit next to you until you grow older.

6. "Where on Earth could that person be?!" And of course, there are those of us, majority, I suppose, who are still waiting patiently for the right person. Granting that you did all that you can do to open yourself and make yourself proactive to all possible avenues of meeting the right one, o.k., now, you could say you are doing just fine. Aside from the choices we made that brought us to where we are now, I mean, what else can we do but wait for the universe to conspire to make things happen. After all, the most beautiful things are always worth waiting for. For now, we just have to make the most of our time and pursue what leads to the best version of ourselves. 

And I say, "Good luck to whichever path you choose!" :)


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